Searching for Meaning.

I have a habit. Of searching for meaning. Even at times when it’s not there.

I choose not to categorize it as good or bad because everything shouldn’t always be black and white.

Probably this is also the reason that one of the core themes of my thesis was ‘searching’.

But that is not the point.

This habit of mine, me continually searching, is constant.

I have held on to the search for just something for as long as I can remember, and sometimes I don’t even remember, but the ‘search’ has been an ever-present part of my life.

It’s like I am lost at sea, like a pirate, searching for that lost treasure. Constantly looking for it, and when I do find the said treasure, I enjoy it for a while, I bask in it, I take pleasure in it, I become one with that treasure, but eventually…

Eventually, I set out on my journey for the next one.

And then again the search continues.

Every island I see brings me the hope of more treasure, of something more worthy, of what I can attach myself to.

And sometimes when I don’t find a treasure for a long while I wonder what am I searching for.

For I really do not know.

What am I searching for? And why is my search so constant, so desperate?

What do I continue to search for despite having everything, really every essential thing that I need?

What unattainable treasure am I on a quest for?

Will I ever find the said treasure?

Will I ever be satisfied?

Will my heart ever stop craving for the unknown?

Or will I continue to be on my voyage of the unknown?