Promises.

We make promises to keep but we don’t always keep them.

We try our best to fulfill what we have said and to be true to our promises. But life has its own ways and paths that are out of our comfort zone and beyond our control.

We learn that we have to evolve, and be comfortable with the change.

Change is ever-present, and a constant in life. The irony of it is not lost on me.

But maybe I am the one who is lost without knowing, I feel lost. I am on the path of finding myself with numerous options. Each tempting me in a way of its own with fear a constant companion.

I have always wanted to go on numerous journeys in life with unpredictability as a constant companion. Maybe it was because life was stable back then and it is not anymore. Every day I try my best to hold on to a semblance of stability, and am sad to realize that there is none.

I realize that I don’t have to go on a journey I already am a part of one. I am already on a journey to becoming who I will be eventually, maybe a failure may be a winner, but I will become something.

Maybe no one would know who I was, what I did, why I did it. Similar to how my mother always tells me that I am no one significant. Thousands of people do what you do, and that I am no one special.

Maybe I am not special, but I am proud to be one of those thousand people that my mother talks about.

As I was talking about promises, sometimes they never come true with life taking us on various paths we often are not able to fulfill what we said or even aimed to do and that hurts. Even if it’s from someone else, it hurts.

You feel disappointed not only in yourself but all those who are around you. Gravity becomes more than a force just sticking you to earth it becomes a force that’s holding you down and taking you deeper and deeper into your miserable state. That’s just how it is.

We are miserable with our promises and stability.

I, for one, need to learn for I cannot control, how I cannot hold onto promises, and how I need to learn to move on and let go.

It takes too much energy, yes. But I have to.