Anxiety.

(From the archive of my writings, when I was 18 years old.)

I loath the word anxiety and the feeling this word brings.

I hate everything associated with it. And how it has become a term that discriminates against people and resents how it has become a way to gain pity.

I detest how people misuse this word to make others feel terrible. Like the other people are criminals and guilty of just trying to help.

Maybe I sound insensitive right now but that is just how it is.

As a person who suffers from anxiety, I get it and I know what it feels like.

Trust me, I experience it every day while staying confident and pushing through it. I know what kind of a crippling effect it has. How it shackles one to doubts and insecurities and makes them helpless, empty, just a shell of a person.

I know how anxiety feels when you struggle to get out of bed and the fear of facing and meeting people is pulling you back and trying to drag you into that deep dark hole. I know.

But what I also know is that people have started to misuse it.

They have started to misuse to such an extent that people with actual anxiety feel the need to push it all back and take a stand which drains them of the life they gather little by little.

It has become a joke.

It has made people insensitive and every next person wants a pity party for themselves while making a big deal about it.

Yes, talking helps. But excessive talking has never helped anyone. Everyone has their own demons they are fighting and you just get a little insight into it.

Don’t think that just because you relate to some degree of what the other person feels it’s the very same thing because it is not.

People with actual anxiety would never throw around the word so casually and mention it at any given chance even to their closest people because that’s what actual anxiety does.

It makes you unable to voice out that you actually have a problem. As it has now been trivialized or made into a big deal that is outta control.

A person with anxiety needs balance, calmness, control, and everything that brings a soothing effect. A person with anxiety would never want anyone to know because that person would not want the attention neither the focus or the stress of seeking help no matter how necessary it is.

Anxiety is not a joke. Don’t treat it as a joke. People with anxiety are a fighter. Give them the respect they deserve.